Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Fashion Police vol.11

On this episode of When Animals Attack, we will take you to an interesting large animal which has an inexplicable aggression towards skirts.

Who needs air-conditioning when you have a cat at home?

A mullet haircut: business in the front, party in the back. Oh so multi purpose. In this set up we have essentially the same logic: cocktail party on top, mountaineering below. You just never know when you have to climb K2.
Girl A: Why the space suit skirt and anti-radiation tights? Moon walking later?
Girl B: Oh no not today. Just an accident with my bicycle pump stuck in my skirt this morning.
Dear Skank United members:
As some of you are having trouble assembling your wardrobe, we are publishing some useful tips to help you look your best. Here is a list of all your must haves:

1) Ratty looking dresses. In bold color of course, to make you stand out of the crowd.

2) Leggings. Should have them in different colors for layering. Trust us, your legs won't look fat once you have leggings on. (See successful exhibit here.)

3) If you don't fit in leggings, be sure to wear pants underneath your ratty dress.

4) The keyword to remember is LACE. Perferably cheap ones (see tip#5). It accentuates the "you will get herpes just by looking at me" look.

5) In general, the cheaper an item is, the more likely you will achieve the skank look. Then of course expensive stuff can also look skanky (but that's for more experienced advance skank members). For your average beginners the rule of thumb is that if your ensemble costs more than a Big Mac combo then you fail.

6) Don't forget bright shoes (and remember the Big Mac rule!).

7) Next issue we will cover the advanced dress codes for senior members: how to wear expensive designer labels and look like a skank. Stay tuned.

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